Growing Up
Okay, Now What? Entering my Meredith Blake Year 🎂
Asking for a friend: What happens when you turn 26?
As far as I can tell, you might lose your health insurance (at least in the US, shoutout to the NHS), you’ve been able to rent a car for a year (though you probably haven’t), and you’re closer to 30 than you are to 20 (yikes). 26 is not old enough to worry about being old and yet not young enough for it to be a birthday that flaunts your youth.
It’s one of those ethereal birthdays that don’t signify much because it isn’t attached to some meaningful life milestone (think 17, 19, probably most of 31 to 50).
That said, I have always believed being 26 meant adulthood. I’m not exactly sure when I decided 26 was the year you became an adult, but I have two leading theories:
My mom was 26 when she married my Dad.
Meredith Blake was 26 when she met Hallie Parker and Annie James.
As an impressionable kid obsessed with the Parent Trap (it was on my iPod Nano, and I watched it daily), Meredith Blake oozed sophistication. Sure, she was an evil almost-stepmom, but her confidence was that of an adult. She knew what she was doing with her life. While the proposition of adulthood should probably terrify me, I have excitedly waited for my mid-twenties since I was a tween. I have always wanted to be an adult, so for lack of more to say, I can’t wait for the year ahead of me.
In defense of birthdays:
People seem to love or hate birthdays. I’m not sure if it’s when you can count your age on both hands, when you can vote, or when you can legally drink, but at some point, birthdays stop signifying consequential life moments and become a day for one to indulge or ignore. I understand and respect the humility of those individuals who do not draw attention to their birthdays nor wish to celebrate, but I’m not one of those people (…I’m writing a Substack about my birthday). To me, birthdays are the most optimistically human practice. As far as I know, there isn't another “holiday” that allows us to celebrate the simple fact that we exist.
I’m not here to preach about self-worth or lobby for big-birthday-candle. I’m not going to tell you you shouldn’t cry on your birthday (don’t we all?), just like I will not advise you to have a themed party with a bounce house. Instead, I will compel you to reconsider how you think about birthdays — not as a vanity project nor an excuse to eat cake (though both are legitimate) — but as an opportunity to celebrate your continued existence.
This world gives us plenty of reasons to be upset, annoyed, angry, you name it. Each year we persist in the face of pandemic, climate calamity, the unraveling of democracy, or the revival of low-rise denim is a reason for us to celebrate. Birthdays, whether our own or those of our loved ones, give us to chance to mark our annual survival and allow us to blissfully celebrate our resilience in spite of everything life throws our way.
If you don’t want to be the center of attention, why not celebrate those who share your birthday? (Happy birthday to Angelina Jolie, Central Cee, and King George III). If you don’t share your birthday with such an eccentric cast of characters, celebrate the people who brought you into this world. Better yet, celebrate those you love fiercely. You may never know the full extent of what is going on in someone’s life, recognizing their resilience and reminding them that you love them each year may go a long way.
With so much to worry about, we have an obligation to seek opportunities to celebrate our livelihood. Don’t look at birthdays as a practice of self-admiration or attention but as a day to reflect on your life and an opportunity to congratulate yourself on making it another year.
A brief list of perfect birthday party components:
A cake made of cupcakes.
Potato art at the Big Delicious Planet Kitchen.
A Sweet Mandy B’s Cake so decadent it makes you feel sick.
Franklin’s BBQ in Austin, Texas.
The Queen of England having her Platinum Jubilee over your birthday weekend.
A birthday mixtape.
In support of birthday mixtapes (even those that include music by Corbin Bleu):
Growing up, my family would make birthday mixtapes instead of handing out goodie bags (see above). In honor of my 26th birthday this weekend, I’m sharing a playlist of some of my favorite songs of all time and some I’ve had on repeat recently.
(For obvious mood-vibe reasons, I have excluded some of my absolute favorite, devastating songs. *coughs* Elliot Smith *coughs* Jeff Buckley *coughs* Noah Kahan).
Talk again when I’m an adult! ✌🏻
Weekly Reccos:
What to read 📔: The Great Believers by Rebecca Makkai (more on this next Substack).
What to listen to 🎧: Obviously the aforementioned Birthday Mixtape.
What to watch 📺: A Good Person starring Florence Pugh.
What to do: Find out which celebrities share your birthday and imagine them at a dinner party together. (Central Cee’s song Doja might’ve literally killed King George III). Share in the comments!
You’re such a great writer! Love this one! ❤️
i am months late but loved celebrating your early bdays covered in cookie dough at BDP, and love reading what you are up to now