The Importance of Giving Up

Okay, Now What? Quarter-Life Half-Marathon Crisis

I twist my ankle the way other people sneeze:

• It happens unprovoked (a.k.a. tripping over nothing).

• It’s startling but doesn’t really disrupt my life.

• It occurs with such frequency that people don’t really react to it after it has happened once.

My friends have learned to shrug off/ignore/say “ope" to the trip-skip dance I perform on a semi-regular basis. When I was younger, I assumed I would grow out of my clumsiness. However, at 26, I think I twist my ankle as frequently as I did when I was six. Besides fostering comfort with minor embarrassment, my predisposition toward clumsiness and injury has not affected my life that much.

That said, I’m bad at running. I don’t mean that I can’t run. I’ve gone to enough Barry’s classes to know I’m in pretty good shape. My problem is that running doesn’t feel right. If my ankles don’t feel like they’re going to roll, my hips feel like they’re going to collapse. My bendy joints make it so running never really feels awesome. Nevertheless, I have tried and failed to become a runner on several occasions.

Last year, I tried to become a runner only to injure my hip within a few weeks. This year, I decided I would not only become a runner, but I would also run a half-marathon (ambitious for a non-runner). I was determined. I even got fitted for running shoes, which involved the very embarrassing task of running up and down a busy street while a salesperson judged my form.

The first six weeks of my training went well. I was confident I would be running the Royal Park Half-Marathon in October. But… my joints had other plans. On a run one day, seemingly out of nowhere, my hip gave out just as it had last year. For a couple of weeks, I refused to accept that I likely wouldn’t recover in time to train effectively. Eventually, I decided to drop out.

To be honest, I didn’t really want to run a half-marathon. Like I said, I am not a runner by nature. Instead, I had wanted to set a goal and accomplish it. My type-A, eldest daughter, list-making personality means I’m generally pretty good (anxious) about following through on my goals. By the time I accepted I had to drop out, I realized that I was more upset about not accomplishing the goal than I was about actually running the race. I decided there was no point in injuring myself to achieve something I only wanted to accomplish for the sake of accomplishing something. Are you following?

This experience led me to my new Philosophy of Giving Up, which can be summed up as follows:

If the reason you want to accomplish something is for the sake of accomplishing something and not for the sake of accomplishing that specific thing. You are entitled to give up without explanation or reason.

For example (and I know some of you need to hear this): If you’re reading a book and you hate it. Just give up. There are so many books to read. Don’t feel the need to finish a book just for the sake of finishing a book.

We’d all be better off if we afforded ourselves some grace when deciding whether or not to follow through on something - especially if that something is self-imposed.

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On the phenomenon of twenty-somethings running half-marathons: I have a theory on why so many twenty-somethings decide to run half-marathons (besides the obvious health benefits).

Being twenty something is the first time you are without assigned goals to accomplish. Your adolescence is filled with predetermined achievements (driver’s licenses, graduations, sports tournaments, extracurricular competitions). Whereas practically anything you want to accomplish in your twenties (and I guess for the rest of your life 😬), you have to decide to do for yourself. If you’re going to get a promotion, you’re need to work/ask for it. If you decide you want to start a business, you need to commit to that. Hell — if you want to get married, you need to go on some dates.

There are no guaranteed right-of-passage accomplishments in adulthood, but we’re all looking for some new goal to achieve. Therefore, running a half-marathon in your mid-twenties, while you’re presumably in shape and have flexibility in your personal life seems like a reasonable goal to set and accomplish.

I just won’t be doing it.

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On the topic of running:

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Weekly Reccos:

• What to read : Demon 👏🏻 Copperhead 👏🏻 This book was so good, I can’t stop recommending it to people. My friend and I were talking so passionately about it in our gym’s locker room that the woman next to us asked what the book was.

• What to listen to 🎧: Guts by Olivia Rodrigo… Duh.

• Reminder: There are elections this year. Find out if your state has an election here. 🗳

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