It's not you, it's me
Okay now what? Breaking up with my Screen Time notifications
During Election Week, I spent nearly 80 hours staring at a screen. By the time I went to bed on Election Night, my eyes stung and my head hurt. Tracking 30+ campaigns required a careful orchestration of Chrome tabs, Tweetdeck panels, TV channels, and push notifications for AP calls. With three screens glaring at me, the last thing I needed was the reminder that I had surpassed my Screen Time limit. I knew I had surpassed it. In fact, I knew I had passed it so egregiously that I was thinking about my forthcoming “your Screen Time was up this week” notification while I was working. It was this impending guilt that made me decide, it was time to end my relationship with my Screen Time notifications. We needed to break up. (Seriously, the state of democracy was on the line and I was worried about a judgy notification from my phone *as if*).
We’ve had problems for a while (my Screen Time notifications and I). It expects too much from me, and I am resistant to change. I feel like it’s judging my actions. I swear it’s lying. “I’m being gaslit,” I say as it flashes on my screen — 10 hours on Monday — impossible! When I’m not self-conscious, I want to impress my Screen Time. I want it to think I have my life under control and that I’m not addicted to my phone. I hate when it tells me I’m spending most of my day looking at a screen because, in my defense, there’s physically no way for me to do my job without looking at the screen for eight hours a day (see my Screen Time even makes me defensive). I’ve become so apathetic to its calls to be better that I rarely change my behavior. If I hit my 30-minute Instagram limit at 9 am, I unapologetically hit “ignore for the day,” and carry on with my life.
And yet… I can’t seem to break it off. I fear if I pull the cord, I will become ignorant of my screen exposure, even though, as mentioned, I have never really taken action knowing that I spend upwards of eight hours a day on a screen. Is it better to live in ignorance or denial? (Bet you didn’t expect this rant to get philosophical, did ya?) In an effort to find out how others are dealing with their Screen Time relationships, I reached out to a few friends to ask how they felt about these notifications:
A biased, non-scientific sample of Screen Time notification relationships:
I like the % increase and decrease notifs. I don’t care about the hour as much.
Umm it makes me feel like shit but also I kind of like being more aware of it.
It makes me feel bad but does not cause any behavior change.
I don’t care I’m still addicted and it’s not changing.
I have my screen time notifications off.
I never look, but I think it’s a good reminder for people to know how much they actually look at the screens.
So basically… we all1 have complicated relationships with knowing how much time we spend looking at a screen. It’s possible I need to accept that my phone isn’t nagging me and that I have a slight addiction to my phone (like anyone born in the advent of the iPhone) but for now, I am just going to turn off my Screen Time. I chose ignorance over denial.
If my phone *must* tell me how much time I’m spending looking at a screen, here’s a list of things I’d actually like to know:
How many times I have picked up my phone, and unlocked it, only to immediately put it down because I forgot what I was picking it up for.
How many times I use the calculator for elementary-level math (I am a Master of Strategic Communications, a decidedly non-mathematic field).
How long on average I spend looking at my 24-hour clock trying to figure out what time it actually is (I’m trying to acclimate to the UK per the last newsletter).
How long I spend watching cake decorating videos (recently been really into Dairy Queen ice cream cake content).
Did I spend more or less time on my phone than [insert celebrity name here] today… like Open Secrets for the Metaverse.
Til next time, Happy Thanksgiving!
P.S. If you’re the one person that has a happy, healthy relationship with your Screen Time and changes your behavior based on your reports, please reach out.
My close group of friends who I consider the entire world.
so good